1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol That our lives had become unmanageable.


PowerLessNess


It was not until I had gone through treatment and been introduced to AA that I had really given Step One any serious thought. I did not really know what it meant and/or how it applied to me. While still in the grips of insanity, I was overly preoccupied (obsessed) with earning a living and getting ahead in life, trying to attain some sort of financial security. I do recall an incident which should have clued me in, but it did not.

 

On a beautiful, hot and sunny Saturday afternoon in October of 1992, the neighbors around the lake behind my house were picnicking and I was consuming my favorite, Jack Daniel’s and coca-cola. At around 3 or 4 in the afternoon I decided I was going to go for a little swim to cool off. The next thing I remember is regaining consciousness in the J.F.K. Emergency room. I had either passed out or blacked out and sank to the bottom of the lake. Fortunately, I was close to the edge and not too difficult to find. A neighbor had pulled me out of the water and emptied my lungs while another called 911. I was rattled all right; I never went swimming while drunk again. The irony here is that in my teens I took on a lifeguard assignment for a bunch of kids at a summer camp and they had nicknamed me “Flipper”. Having been a good swimmer for years booze was not the problem; I guessed I was just too tired. And I've also done some other Stupid Stuff while under the influence. Yep, I was totally flipped out and had no clue. Also, I cannot begin to recall the number of times I had sincerely promised to my wife “Never again” and proceeded to get drunk shortly after. I drank and I drank even when I did not really want to drink. Alcohol was in control of my life, my marriage was going down the drain and there was nothing I could do to stop the downward spiral. Cunning, baffling and powerful indeed, I did not get sober until March 08, 1996.
















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